Asheville
I'm new to town and need someone to help me for about half an hour while I give my rockin' awesome cat a haircut. I don't want to pay a groomer $75 and don't want to stress my fantastic feline out by taking him somewhere he's not comfortable. He is very docile and does not mind this procedure; it's just a two man job that I'm short a reliable person to operate.
All I need you to do is 1) Be cool 2) Dig cats 3) Hold my cat for half an hour. He 1) Rawks 2) Will not bite, scratch, urinate, defecate and/or molest, harry and/or pillage your forearm region. He will 1) lick 2) head butt and/or 3) give aforementioned area loving attention.
This needs to be done at my apartment and I will pay compensate you with beer, good music, stimulating conversation & $10 (It's not much, but you're doing this because it will make a great story). You may bring a companion, alert the authorities of your whereabouts and do anything else you need to make sure you feel safe. I will not monetarily compensate any colleagues you bring; however, said cohorts may help themselves to one of the following options 1) one alcoholic beverage & one snack 2) two non-alcoholic beverages & one snack 3) unlimited ice cold water & two snacks. Also, your may choose to watch television and/or listen to my massive collection of vintage and contemporary vinyl collection while grooming is being performed.
Let me know you're not a weirdo, creep show and/or otherwise sketch ball in your reply. This is life low hanging bucket list/life adventure fruit y'all.
Artist needed. Must love owls.
Hawaii
Imagine yourself driving through taro fields with King Kamehameha watching after you. He turns to you and requests this in Hawaiian. We need an artist to depict the following: an owl skeleton with a parrot on its shoulder. The parrot is not a skeleton and is very colorful. The parrot has a peg leg, with a pirate hat on. The owl has an eye patch and a gold chain necklace with a skull on the pendant of said necklace. The skull in the pendant has an eye patch on the opposite eye of the owl (long story there don't ask). The owl skeleton also has on a wizard's hat with that typical wizard hat wrinkle. The owl is standing on a cowboy hat from a whale's spout. This all is within a snow globe. That santa is holding with his only good hand because his other hand is a hook. Mrs. Clause is pulling on Mr. Clause's coat with one of those dinosaur mouth grabbers that all 80's children know.
If you can draw this we will pay you and give you a prize.
You may of been my true-love-prince! - w4m
San Francisco
I, was wearing purple polka-dotted crotchless panties, yellow fuzzy tap dancing shoes and rainbow knee-high socks with swirly peace signs. On my tits, I had disco pasties. I have sicc multi-colored dreads.
You, had a green goatee, and no pants. A cow patterned blazer, No shirt. Sicc tatts.
I saw you hula'n on the multi-colored flying dragon art-car as I was riding my TIGHT cruzer thru da sicc playa dust. We made eye-contact and never saw each again! Hope the universe brings us together. Namaste.
P.s. my name is Raven.
p.p.s we saw each other at burning man.
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