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Unfortunatebirthmark: I was tucking in my two-year-old. He said "Good bye dad." I said, "No, we say good night." He said "I know. But this time it's good bye." Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was still there.
NotTomPettysGirl: Not to me, but to his grandmother. He was cuddling with her and being very sweet (he was about 3 at the time). He takes her face in his hands, and brings his face close to hers, then tells her that she's very old, and will die soon. Then he makes a point of looking at the clock.
PookiePi: My toddler went through a phase where she would just constantly say hi to things. "Hi hi hi hi hi hi." One day it came out sounding more like "die die die die die." So I say to her, what is that you're saying? And she turns to face me and just whispers "Diiiieeeeeee......."
utcursch: Getting my two and a half year old daughter out of the bath one night, my wife and I were briefing her on how important it was she kept her privates clean. She casually replied, "Oh nobody 'scroofs' me there. They tried one night. They kicked the door in and tried but I fought back. I died and now I'm here." She said this like it was nothing.
GatorMcGovern: A friend of mine's child told him "Daddy, I love you so much that I want to cut your head off and carry it around so I can see your face whenever I want."
evillawnornament: "Daddy sleep" then pushing my head underwater at the pool.
Thingsimeantobe: My five-year-old at the time had night terrors and would scream in her sleep. One night I said 'mama's here it's okay'. She looked right at me still asleep and screamed 'mama? But who is that behind you?
jelb32: My five-year-old son asked me last week "what do you see through the black circles in my eyes when you're controlling me when I'm at school?"
Like_I_was_sayin: My three-year-old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for awhile then turned and looked at me and said, "Daddy it's a monster. We should bury it."
abluesxs: I jokingly asked: "What's the best way to get a girlfriend?" 7-year-old's response: "Tell her to be my girlfriend or she'll never see her parents again."
psalm_69: I was sound asleep, and at around 6am I was woken up by my 4-year-old daughter's face inches from mine. She looked right into my eyes and whispered, "I want to peel all your skin off".Reddit via Scary Mommy and Buzzfeed