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'I Want To Peel All Your Skin Off'

Click to enlarge | imgur

A Redditor asked parents "What is the creepiest thing your young child has ever said to you?” Here are some of their responses.

Unfortunatebirthmark: I was tucking in my two-year-old. He said "Good bye dad." I said, "No, we say good night." He said "I know. But this time it's good bye." Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was still there.

NotTomPettysGirl: Not to me, but to his grandmother. He was cuddling with her and being very sweet (he was about 3 at the time). He takes her face in his hands, and brings his face close to hers, then tells her that she's very old, and will die soon. Then he makes a point of looking at the clock.

PookiePi: My toddler went through a phase where she would just constantly say hi to things. "Hi hi hi hi hi hi." One day it came out sounding more like "die die die die die." So I say to her, what is that you're saying? And she turns to face me and just whispers "Diiiieeeeeee......."

utcursch: Getting my two and a half year old daughter out of the bath one night, my wife and I were briefing her on how important it was she kept her privates clean. She casually replied, "Oh nobody 'scroofs' me there. They tried one night. They kicked the door in and tried but I fought back. I died and now I'm here." She said this like it was nothing.

GatorMcGovern: A friend of mine's child told him "Daddy, I love you so much that I want to cut your head off and carry it around so I can see your face whenever I want."

evillawnornament: "Daddy sleep" then pushing my head underwater at the pool.

Thingsimeantobe: My five-year-old at the time had night terrors and would scream in her sleep. One night I said 'mama's here it's okay'. She looked right at me still asleep and screamed 'mama? But who is that behind you?

jelb32: My five-year-old son asked me last week "what do you see through the black circles in my eyes when you're controlling me when I'm at school?"

Like_I_was_sayin: My three-year-old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for awhile then turned and looked at me and said, "Daddy it's a monster. We should bury it."

abluesxs: I jokingly asked: "What's the best way to get a girlfriend?" 7-year-old's response: "Tell her to be my girlfriend or she'll never see her parents again."

psalm_69: I was sound asleep, and at around 6am I was woken up by my 4-year-old daughter's face inches from mine. She looked right into my eyes and whispered, "I want to peel all your skin off".

Reddit via Scary Mommy and Buzzfeed

Last Word | Treat Your Children Well

Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick, born January 4, 1935, died last month, to the relief and comfort of the children whom she spent a lifetime (in their words) "torturing in every way possible." 

Those children, now grown, marked her passing by submitting the most chilling obituary you will ever read to her local newspaper, the Reno Gazette-Journal:

"Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Aug. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused her small children, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love. Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit. On behalf of her children whom she so abrasively exposed to her evil and violent life, we celebrate her passing from this earth and hope she lives in the after-life reliving each gesture of violence, cruelty, and shame that she delivered on her children. Her surviving children will now live the rest of their lives with the peace of knowing their nightmare finally has some form of closure. Most of us have found peace in helping those who have been exposed to child abuse and hope this message of her final passing can revive our message that abusing children is unforgivable, shameless, and should not be tolerated in a "humane society". Our greatest wish now, is to stimulate a national movement that mandates a purposeful and dedicated war against child abuse in the United States of America."

Via Gawker

Things You Never Knew You Needed Or Wanted | Baby Bangs

Our patent pending HAIR+band accessory combination allows baby girl's (with little or no hair at all) the opportunity to have a beautifully realistic HAIR style in a SNAP!! It's quick, easy and baby barely knows it's there. Each Baby Bangs! HAIR+band has been made using only the finest ribbons and fabrics, PLUS our Baby Bangs! come to you pre-customized & size appropriate, cut, styled and ready for immediate wear. The wispy hair strands have been arranged in the cutest most adorable elfish coiffure!

Baby Bangs via Jezebel

Parents | Are You A Monster When You're Drunk?

YouTube | Adweek

Folks fortunate enough to have had normal childhoods might find this PSA from Finnish agency Euro RSCG Helsinki for a charity called Fragile Childhood disturbing or unrealistic but I find it totally relatable. It's doubtful that alcoholic parents will recognize themselves or be shocked into changing their behavior, but it may open the eyes of someone else in the life of such a child and inspire them to intervene.

Fletcher's Dad

Click image to enlarge | Source

Photography | Hidden Mother

This was a practice where the mother, often disguised or hiding, often under a spread, holds her baby tightly for the photographer to insure a sharply focused image.

Anarchist Coloring Book | Retronaut | The Hidden Mother Flickr Group

Amusingly Horrible | Significant Others

Click image to enlarge

Readers of The Hairpin submitted the worst things a significant other ever said to them. The winner:

There's a show pony, with a trimmed mane and braided tail, and then there's a wild horse running though a prairie. You're like that horse. I mean, there's supermodels, and then there's dirt. [And I am like dirt?] Yeah. [We are no longer together.]

Read the remaining 31 entries here, and check out the Amusingly Horrible Things Moms Have Said here.

Via Brooklyn Mutt

Father Lets De-venomized Snakes Bite Daughter

Raymond Hoser

An Australian snake handler let normally deadly snakes bite his 10-year-old daughter to prove they are de-venomised and safe.

"Snakeman" Raymond Hoser allowed a taipan and a death adder to bite his daughter while a shopping centre audience watched on. The handler, 49, said the video proved that despite being convicted of breaching his Commercial Wildlife Demonstrator Licence, there was never any risk. He was fined $12,000 in the County Court last week for demonstrating with venomous snakes less than three metres from the public.

He said the video demonstration, which left his daughter with bleeding puncture wounds in her forearm, had proved his snakes were not venomous. "She was only bleeding and if they'd been venomous she'd have been dead in two minutes," Hoser said.

Herald Sun | Arbroath

Boy Gets Hosed For Eating Too Much Bacon

A Philadelphia woman allegedly beat her grandson and sprayed his face with water from a garden hose because he ate a large amount of bacon for breakfast.

Police were called to a suburban residence Tuesday after receiving reports of a domestic disturbance, The Smoking Gun reported Thursday. A neighbor told authorities that Marilee Ann Kolynych, 63, chased her nine-year-old grandson around the front yard before throwing him to the ground, "sitting on top of him, beating him on his legs and spraying water at very close range into [the boy's] face."

The boy told police his grandmother was angry that he ate too much bacon for breakfast and said that he had been "getting tortured all day," according to a police report. Kolynych faces charges of endangering the welfare of children, simple assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. A preliminary hearing was set for next week.

NY Post | The Smoking Gun

Remember the "Bacon Is Good for Me kid?

Lioness Stalks Toddler At Cheyenne Mountain Zoo

YouTube | CDAN

"Practice" Babies For "Practice" Mothers At Cornell

Bobby Domecon, the second practice baby, arrived at Cornell in 1920 as a

malnutrition case, but developed normally during his two-year stay.

Beginning in the early 1900s, collegiate home economics programs across the nation included "practice house" programs designed to help female students learn "mothercraft," the scientific art of childrearing. At Cornell each semester, eight women students lived with a resident advisor in the "practice apartment," where they took turns performing a full range of homemaking activities in a scientific and cost-efficient manner.

Response to Cornell's request for babies. Infants were leased from child welfare

organizations around the state through a contract that either side could terminate

 if the arrangement proved unsatisfactory.

In 1919, the first practice baby, named Dicky Domecon for "domestic economy," came to Cornell. Cornell secured infants through area orphanages and child welfare associations. Babies were nurtured by the students according to strict schedules and guidelines, and after a year, they were available for adoption. Prospective adoptive parents in this era desired Domecon babies because they had been raised according to the most up-to-date scientific principles.

Babies were held to a strict, scientifically engineered diet by their student "mothers."

Flora Rose, an early proponent of the program, believed that babies were essential to replicate the full domestic experience. Albert Mann, Dean of the College of Agriculture, called the apartments "essential laboratory practice for women students." As time passed, however, new research in child development pointed to the need for a primary bond with a single caregiver, and social changes in the lives of women made the practice house focus on domesticity seem old-fashioned. In addition, by the late 1960s, the ideology most prominent in the college favored hard science over practical applications. By 1969, the year the college changed its name, practice apartments were dropped from the Cornell curriculum.

Neatorama

Toddler Lights And Smokes Cigarette

At least it's filtered.



Via: LiveLeak